Animals

A man wakes up to find his dog, dead, lying next to the bed on the floor. He doesn't believe his dog is dead, so he takes him to the vet, and the vet says, 'I'm sorry, but your dog is dead.' The man doesn't believe him and says, 'I want a second opinion.'
The doctor goes into the back and brings out a cat. The cat jumps all over the dog and bites it and says to the vet, 'Meeoowrr.' The vet says again, 'I'm sorry, sir, your dog is dead.'
The man says, 'No, I want another opinion.'
So the doctor brings out a Laborador Retriever and he jumps all over the dead dog and tugs at it and barks at it and says to the vet, 'Rrrrr.' The vet says, 'I'm sorry, sir, but your dog is dead. that will be 500 dollars.'
'$500 to tell me my dog is dead?' asks the man.
'Well,' the vet replies, 'I'm 100 dollars, the cat scan was 300 and the lab test was 200 dollars.'

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?

A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman and the other is a chocolate lab!

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?

A: Winnie the Pooh!