dog joke list 08
Q: What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?
A: He gets splinters in his mouth!
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog!
Q: What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A: A guard dog!
Q: What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A: A plain clothes police dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: Rid of the dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
A: A sheep that can round itself up!
A: He gets splinters in his mouth!
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog!
Q: What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A: A guard dog!
Q: What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A: A plain clothes police dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: Rid of the dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
A: A sheep that can round itself up!
dog jokes
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!
Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!
Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!
elephant jokes
What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!
What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!
What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!
Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!
What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!
What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!
Time to fix the fence!
What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!
What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!
Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!
What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!
What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!
elephant jokes 02
What' s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!
What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
An elephant marching band!
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!
What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
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