fish joke list 02
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To the prawn broker!
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale weigh station!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse!
 |
|
|
|
|
 | ||||
To the prawn broker!
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale weigh station!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse!
bird joke list 04
Q: What do owls sing when it is raining?
A: 'Too wet to woo'!
Q: What do baby swans dance to?
A: Cygnet-ure-tunes!
Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!
Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie Pie!
Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
A: Jail-birds!
Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot?
A: Plant bird seed!
Q: Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?
A: Because they're both full of stuffing!
Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
A: Fowl play!
Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A: They quack up!
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
A: 'Too wet to woo'!
Q: What do baby swans dance to?
A: Cygnet-ure-tunes!
Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!
Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie Pie!
Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
A: Jail-birds!
Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot?
A: Plant bird seed!
Q: Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?
A: Because they're both full of stuffing!
Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
A: Fowl play!
Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A: They quack up!
fish joke list 04
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
fly jokes
How do fireflies start a race?
Ready steady glow!
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!
How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of manure in the living room!
What did one firefly say to the other?
Got to glow now!
What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?
A firefly with a short circuit!
Which fly makes films?
Stephen Speilbug!
Why did the firefly keep stealing things?
He was light fingered!
Why were the flies playing football in saucer?
They where playing for the cup!
What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied 'er!
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
Ready steady glow!
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!
How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of manure in the living room!
What did one firefly say to the other?
Got to glow now!
What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?
A firefly with a short circuit!
Which fly makes films?
Stephen Speilbug!
Why did the firefly keep stealing things?
He was light fingered!
Why were the flies playing football in saucer?
They where playing for the cup!
What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied 'er!
Page 5 of 23 «« Previous | Next »»