fish joke list 04
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
fish joke list 05
What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)
What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark!
Net profits!
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)
What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark!
fish jokes
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!
1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
A Sturgeon!
Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!
1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
flea joke list 01
What is the most faithful insect?
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!
What insect runs away from everything?
A flee!
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!
What to you call a Russian flea?
A Moscow-ito!
Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet?
"Why are we running so fast?
" said one Because it says "Tear along the dotted line" What do you call a flea that lives in an idiots ear?
A space invader!
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?
Bugs Bunny!
How do you start an insect race?
One, two, flea - go!
How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
Start from scratch!
What is a flea's favorite book?
The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy!
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!
What insect runs away from everything?
A flee!
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!
What to you call a Russian flea?
A Moscow-ito!
Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet?
"Why are we running so fast?
" said one Because it says "Tear along the dotted line" What do you call a flea that lives in an idiots ear?
A space invader!
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?
Bugs Bunny!
How do you start an insect race?
One, two, flea - go!
How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
Start from scratch!
What is a flea's favorite book?
The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy!
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