elephant jokes 13
Why did the elephant walk on two feet?
To give the ants a chance!
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?
To stop getting wet!
What do elephants do in the evenings?
Watch elevision!
How to elephants talk to each other?
By 'elephone!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
When do elephants have 8 feet?
When there are two of them!
What did the elephant say to the famous detective?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!
Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my elephants"
Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!"
What do you do if you find a blue elephant?
Try and cheer him up!
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To give the ants a chance!
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?
To stop getting wet!
What do elephants do in the evenings?
Watch elevision!
How to elephants talk to each other?
By 'elephone!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
When do elephants have 8 feet?
When there are two of them!
What did the elephant say to the famous detective?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!
Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my elephants"
Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!"
What do you do if you find a blue elephant?
Try and cheer him up!
farm joke list 02
What do you get if you all sit under a cow?
A pat on the head!
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!
What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!
What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!
What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
Afer ewe!
Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!
What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!
Where do sheep get shorn?
At the baa baas!
What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!
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A pat on the head!
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!
What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!
What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!
What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
Afer ewe!
Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!
What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!
Where do sheep get shorn?
At the baa baas!
What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!
farm joke list 03
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
Lumpy milkshakes!
What is the definition of a goose?
An animal that grows down as it grows up!
Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep?
She had a crook with her!
What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough Stirrup!
What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A horse!
What happens when geese land in a volcano?
They cook their own gooses!
What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!
What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis!
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment!
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Lumpy milkshakes!
What is the definition of a goose?
An animal that grows down as it grows up!
Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep?
She had a crook with her!
What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough Stirrup!
What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A horse!
What happens when geese land in a volcano?
They cook their own gooses!
What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!
What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis!
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment!
spider jokes 02
What is a spiders favorite TV show?
The newly web game!
What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?
Your spinning me a yarn here!
What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!
Why are spiders like tops?
They are always spinning!
What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?
A spinning wheel!
What has 8 legs and likes living in trees?
Four anti road protesters?
What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
Darn it!
What do you call a big irish spider?
Paddy long legs!
What is red and dangerous?
Strawberry and tarantula jelly!
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The newly web game!
What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?
Your spinning me a yarn here!
What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!
Why are spiders like tops?
They are always spinning!
What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?
A spinning wheel!
What has 8 legs and likes living in trees?
Four anti road protesters?
What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
Darn it!
What do you call a big irish spider?
Paddy long legs!
What is red and dangerous?
Strawberry and tarantula jelly!
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