farm joke list 10
Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?
Because he was a dirty double crosser!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What has two legs and flies?
A pig!
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
A cow that can milk itself!
Why did the farmer call his pig 'Ink'?
Because he kept running out of the pen!
What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
Cold cream!
What game do cows play at parties?
Moosical chairs!
Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle?
Well, have you 'herd' the sound they make!
Why was the lamb told off for being rude?
He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum!
Because he was a dirty double crosser!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What has two legs and flies?
A pig!
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
A cow that can milk itself!
Why did the farmer call his pig 'Ink'?
Because he kept running out of the pen!
What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
Cold cream!
What game do cows play at parties?
Moosical chairs!
Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle?
Well, have you 'herd' the sound they make!
Why was the lamb told off for being rude?
He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum!
farm jokes
Why did the bull rush?
Because it saw the cow slip!
What kind of bird lays electric eggs?
A battery hen!
What do you call an arctic cow?
An eskimoo!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick-layer!
How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
Why does a rooster watch TV?
For hentertainment!
What do you get from a drunk chicken?
Scotch eggs!
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a bell?
A bird that has to wring its own neck!
Because it saw the cow slip!
What kind of bird lays electric eggs?
A battery hen!
What do you call an arctic cow?
An eskimoo!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick-layer!
How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
Why does a rooster watch TV?
For hentertainment!
What do you get from a drunk chicken?
Scotch eggs!
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a bell?
A bird that has to wring its own neck!
fish joke list 02
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To the prawn broker!
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale weigh station!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse!
To the prawn broker!
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale weigh station!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse!
fish joke list 03
Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!
What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!
What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
Between the head and the tail!
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!
What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!
What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
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